Today marks a year since my dad passed away, and I have missed him every day since. Some days I think about the big things I miss about him, and some days I wish I could just call him to talk.
One of the hardest emotions that came with losing my dad was jealousy. A few months after my dad passed away, Scott and I went out to dinner. At the table next to us was a girl around 19-20 and her dad. It was obvious from her WCU sweatshirt and RAM card that she went to the University in town and he was meeting her after work (he had one of those stretchy cords with his id attached to his hip... side note: I've always wanted one of those!). Anyway, they ate together and the girl was constantly checking her phone, not really paying too much attention to her dad. I felt a little upset and just wanted to reach out and tell her to enjoy every minute of this date. I wanted to tell her to listen to her dad's advice and watch his mannerisms. Take it all in. I miss having a dad and I'm jealous of all my friends who do. I get frustrated when people take their parents for granted.
I am reminded of my dad daily. I will hear songs he used to sing or see things that bring him to my mind. A few things I miss about my dad...
- Being able to call him on my way home every night.
- Asking him for advice about work, my car, or things around the house.
- Hugging him.
- His voice and hearing him say my name.
- His kindness and compassion for anyone and everyone.
- His corny jokes and his laugh.
- His blueish-gray eyes.
- His smile and seeing my mom smile the way she did with him.
Losing my dad is something I struggle with every day, but I have learned to let people in and lean on others for support. I have learned to pay attention to the little things you love about people, and to appreciate time spent with those you love.
Thinking of you today and cherishing your thoughts....thanks for the reminder to step back and appreciate those things that truly are more important in life <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kristin :)
DeleteLove this G! It's so true. You truly are one of the strongest people I know! Love you :)
ReplyDeletethanks meliss :) xxo
DeleteLove and miss you cousin
ReplyDelete:)
Miss you, A! I wish I was coming to visit you this summer :)
DeleteGina, I found your blog through Better After and started reading a little bit. :) I lost my dad a year ago July 18th and this has been one of the hardest years ever. I miss him so much and I would give anything to have one more day with him. I'm so sorry for your loss and cancer absolutely sucks. My dad had a rare stomach cancer and my mom currently has two brain tumors (not primary, mets). It is so important to spend as much time with loved ones as you can because no matter how many years we get them, it's never long enough!
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting! So sorry to hear about losing your dad, the first year is very hard and comes with a lot of unexpected emotions. Sending your family good thoughts and positive vibes :)
DeleteGina, your dad must have been an incredible person. And I can speculate that not just from the list that you wrote about him. I can assume that because of the person I see you being from the writing that you do. And what a fortunate person you are to come from a family that seems so close and connected.
ReplyDeleteI lost my dad to Alzheimer's on December 06, 2007 and I miss him every day. The hurt of losing doesn't go away but they are tempered by the the memories which become all-the-more precious.
I really like your blog. I, too, am here from the link on BetterAfter.
Thank you for your sweet comment, Martha! It made me happy to read your response. Thanks for visiting :)
DeleteGina, I am so very sorry for your loss. Both of my parents passed away and I can relate to every emotion you speak of. Thinking you during this most difficult time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brandi, so sweet of you to offer your thoughts. Sending you positive vibes, too :)
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